issues—issues that you can control. If you don’t, your problems
will alter how you interact with others, especially your family.
Anxiety and stress plague most of us—they fill our worlds and
infect our lives. Sometimes we just can’t handle it! They have become
a by-product of our fast-paced, jam-packed lives. Most parents are
overly stressed, which dramatically affects how they deal with their
families and how their children respond.
Parents and children now face substantially more anxiety than
their counterparts did just ten or twenty years ago. I attribute this to
many reasons, including the fact that more mothers work outside the
home, the rise of single parent families, the breakdown of the
traditional family, economic pressures, technological advances, a
general increase in homework, competitive pressures that require
children to be involved in a wide range of activities at earlier ages
and safety concerns.
In other words, stress has become virtually universal. Look at
yourself. Do you experience any of the following signs? Do you find
yourself…
• Impatient with your family?
• Easily frustrated? • Constantly rushing?
• Frequently late?
• Scattered and disorganized?
• Low on energy and motivation?
• Procrastinating?
• Indecisive?
• Having difficulty setting and achieving goals?
• Setting lofty goals, but producing little?
If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, you are
suffering from a high degree of stress and should act to reduce it.
The Impact of Stress
Since stress can undercut family relations, it is vital to understand
how it works. Overstressed parents
• Are more impatient,
• Have shorter fuses, and
• Tend to overreact to their children’s behavior.
Children then reflect their parents negativity and act out against their
parents. Fighting ensues, and the pattern continues and intensifies.
When someone is irritableand hostile to you, it’s instinctive
to feel under attack. The initial response is to defend yourself and thwart off the
assault. When the abuse continues, most of us will fight back.
The manner in which parents act sets the tone for patterns that form. People,
especially children, tend to reflect the behavior adults initiate. Since you are the
parent, authority figure and role model, you set the standard that yourchildren
will follow. For example, in most cases:
• If you express yourself intensely, your children will react intensely.
• If you speak calmly, your child will answer calmly.
• If you angrily pounce on your children, they will probably snap back.
• If you are pleasant and jovial, your children will usually be jovial as well.
When family communications are negative, they usually culminate
in power struggles, hostility, misunderstandings and regrets. Children
exposed to such negativity seldom develop good self-esteem.
Table of
Contents
Introduction ............................................................................................... 9
Chapter 1 Stress Management ...................................................... 15
Chapter 2 Get Organized ............................................................... 33
Chapter 3 Top 10 Parenting Rules ................................................ 47
Chapter 4 Organize Your Children .............................................. 57
Chapter 5 Setting Boundaries ....................................................... 73
Chapter 6 Positive Parenting ........................................................ 89
Chapter 7 Morning Behavior ...................................................... 107
Chapter 8 Building Self-Esteem .................................................. 119
Chapter 9 Anger Management ................................................... 137
Chapter 10 Communication .......................................................... 153
Chapter 11 Stress-Free Homework .............................................. 169
Chapter 12 Marriage and Parenting ............................................ 187
Chapter 13 Sibling Rivalry ............................................................ 203
Chapter 14 Evening Behavior ....................................................... 217
Chapter 15 Single Parents .............................................................. 231
In Conclusion ........................................................................................ 247
Testimonials:
"It’s good to know that it is hard to be a parent today- It is much different than 30 years ago. It’s so nice to know that you can look up everything you need to know in The Frazzled Family: Parenting Made Easy, and it is right at your fingertips. It’s a book that you can easily refer to over and over again."
- Patricia Hill, mother of 3
"Your book has made me feel like I am on the right track. The chapter on "Setting Boundaries" made me feel good- I have always had trouble finding the balance with my kids. Either I am too strict or too lenient. Now I realize that I am always in a power struggle and that causes me to be so angry that I can’t create a realistic boundary. I have been doing it all wrong. The Frazzled Family has taught me how to do it right- FINALLY! Thank you!"
- Nancy Rubin, mother of 2
"After reading The Frazzled Family: Parenting Made Easy, I stopped punishing my son and started giving him a positive reward when he finished his homework. I wasn’t sure if that strategy would work, but it did and now he does his homework on his own. It’s amazing!"
- Daya Mubiala, mother of 2
