Abbess,
    Christian Orthodox       
Abbot,
    Christian Orthodox        
Accountant        
Acting Official       
Adjutant General     
Admiral, Rear         
Alderman         
Archbishop, Catholic        
Archbishop,
   Christian Orthodox        
Archdeacon, Episcopal        
Archimandrite        
Architect
Archpriest        
Ambassador to the U.S.
   from a foreign country      
Ambassador of the U.S.        
American Indian Chief        
Assemblyman
   U.S., State / or           
   Assemblywoman            
Associate Justice,
   U.S. Supreme Court          
Associate Justice of a
   State Supreme Court
Attorney         
Attorney General           
Attorney, U.S.         
Australian Officials    

Baron, Baroness           
British Officials,
   Royalty, Nobility     
Brother, Catholic         
Brother,
   Christian Orthodox          
Bishop, Catholic            
Bishop,
   Christian Orthodox         
Bishop, Episcopal        
Board Member     
Boy        
Brigadier General       

Canadian Officials    
Candidate    
Captain,
   USA, USAF, USMC     
Cardinal             
Chairman
    Federal Reserve      
Chaplain in the
    Armed Services        
Chaplain of Congress          
Chargé d’Affaires         
Chief Executive Officer 
Chief Judge          
Chief Justice,
      U.S. Supreme Court 
Chief Justice, of a State
      Supreme Court             
Chief of Police          
Chief of Staff     
Chief Operating
   Officer          
Child            
City Manager    
Clergy & Religious
    Officials     
Colonel, "Honorary"
     Kentucky, or other
     state/organization      
Colonel, USA, USAF,
    or USMC     
Congressman, U.S.              
Congresswoman, U.S.   
Consul and or
   Consul General              
Commissioner, Court      
Commissioner       
Corporate Executive         
Councilman
    Councilwoman      
Counselor (Diplomat)      
Countess     
Couples     
Curator        

Dalai Lama          
Deacon         
Dean, academic            
Dean, clergy            
Deceased Persons        
Delegate, U.S., State            
Dentist             
Deputy Chief of Mission      
Deputy Marshal          
Designate, Elect,
    Pro Tempore      
Diplomats      
District Attorney           
Doctor of Dentistry           
Doctor of Medicine              
Doctor of
   Veterinary Medicine          
Doctor of Osteopathy            
Doctor, Other Disciplines     
Doctorate        
Doctorate, honorary      

Earl            
Elect, Designate
   Pro Tempore      
Eminence     
Etiquette    
Excellency           

Fiancee      
First, Second,
   Third, etc.        
First Lady, Spouse
   of the President of
   the United States 
First Lady, Member
    of Her   
    White House Staff      
First Lady, Spouse
   of a Governor
   or Lt. Gov.    
First Lieutenant   
Flag Protocol     
Former Officials    
Freeholder       

Geshe
General
    USA, USAF, USMC
Girl
Governor, Lieutenant 
Governor, Lt., Spouse   
Governor, Tribal Council          
Governor, U.S. State       
Governor, Former    
Governor
    Spouse of     
Governor's Staff,
    Member of      
Governors, Board of 

Honorable, The          
Honorary degrees    
Honourable, The       

Indian Chief         
Inspector General    
Introductions       
Invitations  
   Writing &  
   Addressing  
Invitations
    Military:
    Writing &
    Addressing

Judge, former     
Judge of US City or
        US Count     
Judge, US Federal            
Junior, Senior,
    I, II, III, etc.       
Justice, Associate
     Federal
     Supreme Court
Justice, Associate
     State
     Supreme Court

King     
Knight      

Late, The
   (deceased persons)        
Lawyer      
Lieutenant      
Lieutenant Colonel,     
   USA, USAF, USMC          
Lieutenant General,
   USA, USAF, USMC      
Lieutenant Governor         

Robert Hickey's Blog on
Names, Titles & Forms of Address
Invitations, Introductions, Precedence, Flags, etc.

Answers to Questions From On-Line Users (like you)

Robert Hickey is Deputy Director of The Protocol School
of Washington® and has been conducting protocol
trainings since 1988.

Welcome To My Website.
     I’ve been teaching at The Protocol School of Washington® for over 20 years and spent a decade collecting what I've learned on names, titles and forms of address into what has become the standard reference on the topic.
     Since the book was published less than three years ago, thousands of people and organizations have acquired and use it. Browse around this site, learn how to flawlessly interact with those who are high on the pecking order, and you too can become an ambassador of honor and respect.
      -- Robert Hickey

Got A Question?   Something You Are Looking For?
    If you have a question on how to address a particular office/official more than 140 are listed elsewhere on the site on the On-Line Guide To Forms Of Address,
   You can also browse all the previously asked questions. They are saved by category, with a list of those categories at the bottom of this page. I've answered hundreds of questions, so your question may be covered there.
   The six most recent questions are just below on this page.

Here Are The Six Most Recently Asked Questions
After they've been here, I move them to a page with related questions
A list of those topics appears at the bottom of this page.

How to Address A Canadian Prime Minister?
       How to I address an invitation to the Prime Minister of Canada and his wife Laureen Harper??
       -- Sarah

Dear Sarah:
        In this case since his wife used the same last name it would be:
        The Right Honorable Stephen Harper
            and Mrs. Harper
                Address
    The inside envelope would be
        Prime Minister and Mrs. Harper
    I have a full chapter in my book on Canadian forms of address should this sort of question come up often. I have all the forms of address for the Prime Minister of Canada on page 301.
                 -- Robert Hickey

How to Address A Canadian Mayor?
       I am sending A wedding invitation to the mayor of my town (I live in Canada). His name is Mark Garrett. How to I write his name on the envelope?
       -- Sarah

Dear Sarah:
        I have a chapter in my book just on Canadian officials which starts on page 295. Canadian mayors are addressed in the style of their British counterparts. There are two forms and now knowing which is one used in your community I will give you both:
        The Right Worshipful the Mayor of (city/town)
            Mark Garrett
                Address
            or
        The Worshipful Mayor of (city/town)
            Mark Garrett
                Address
    Do include his name as noted. Invitations are directed to a person, not to just an office, since presumably invitations are social (or at least have a social appearance).
    Inside envelope would be:
        Mayor Garrett
                 -- Robert Hickey

How to Address A Town or City Manager?
       The address for a town manager?
       -- Alicia R.

Dear J.J.D.:
        You are questioner of few words!  Normally people write paragraphs and paragraphs and I have to figure out exactly what it is they actually want.
       A town manager doesn't have a special form of address. Just use Mr./Ms. (name) and identify them by their office. For example:
                  Ms. Sandra Wilson
                  Town Manager
                  County Office Building
                  203 Rowe Street, Suite 123
                  Hendersonville, TN 34567.
       -- Robert Hickey

How to Address An Appointed Court Commissioner?
       In my practice in Utah and California, court commissioners are hired by the judges and are thus court employees serving by contract or at the pleasure of the judges, and they do not go through the political process of nomination by the governor or approval by a branch of the state legislature, so they don’t have all of the powers of judges – the judges delegate some powers and decision-making authority to them.
       In court, the custom is to refer to commissioners as ‘Your Honor’ just as a judge, but my question is whether a commissioner is properly referred to as ‘the Honorable’ in correspondence and court orders.  Something tells me that since they’re a bit lower on the pecking order, they’re not.  I’d appreciate any insight you might have as an expert in the area.
       -- J.J.D. in Salt Lake City

Dear J.J.D.:
        If this type of commissioner is hired … neither appointed by the governor nor elected … I would not address them as The Honorable (full name).
        Regarding the practice of addressing an appointed commissioners while presiding in court as Your Honor …. there are many circumstances where a person is addressed in a way that is appropriate for the role they are fulfilling. 
        E.g., an instructor when teaching class at a university can be addressed as Professor (Name) by students in the classroom though he or she holds none of the graded ranks of professor (professor, associate professor or assistant professor).    
       In the armed services, a lower-ranking naval officer may be addressed as Captain (name) if officially serving in a billet which requires an officer holding the rank of captain but for some reason no officer of the correct rank is available.
       -- Robert Hickey

Is a Former Judge Still Addressed as a Judge?
Dear Robert,
     I have a question regarding a former district court judge (in New Hampshire) who by his own choice returned to private practice. Would this person still be called "The Hon.," or would that be inappropriate because of his new role?
             --- Mark in New Hampshire


Hi Mark,
The general rule is "once The Honorable, always The Honorable."  So, address the official envelope:
        The Honorable (full name)
            (Name of Firm)
                Address
    Retired judges are usually addressed in conversation as "Judge (surname)"
    However a former judge would not be addressed using the forms of address for a judge if he has assumed another form of employment (for pay). He would not longer be accorded the courtesies of a current or retired judge. A judge who has returned to private practice would be addressed as "Mr. (surname)" professionally.
           -- Robert Hickey

Dear Mr. Hickey
     You state that a retired judge who returns to private practice is not longer entitled to the courtesies of being called "Judge" when he or she is in court.  Is there any authority for this view?  It could be argued that the title of "Judge" has supplanted the title of "Mister" and that it would be a discourtesy (both to the retired judge and to the court that he or she served) to strip the retired judge of the title he or she earned.  In court the judge is referred to as "Your Honor," or "The Court," so the parties involved in the proceeding will not be confused.
    I should add to my earlier email that it is the practice in the legal community to continue to refer to a retired judge who has returned to private practice as "Judge (surname)," at least outside of the courtroom.
             --- JAL & GW


Hi JAL & GW,
         The pattern in forms of address is when one leaves an office which has a special form of address -- use of the courtesies of the forms of address related to the office extend to social use only.
        E.g., when USAF General who retires but subsequently works for a defense contractor -- he is addressed as Mr. (Name) while working in his new professional role.  But he could still send out wedding invitations for his daughter's wedding (a social use) as General (Name).
        Through interviews with attorney's and jurists I have observed the same pattern. 
        Thus addressing a retired judge as Judge (Name) socially makes sense. But addressing a practicing attorney as Judge (Name) is misleading in his role in the current circumstance.
        I am not saying it's never done ... it is. But when it is it has more to do with the person addressing the former office holder wanting to flatter the former office holder, or the former office holder wishing to receive some courtesy accorded a current office holder.
           -- Robert Hickey

How to Write an Official's Name on a Place Card?
       I am co-hosting a dinner with a U.S. Senator. For purposes of preparing my place cards, how should they be addressed? For example, Senator Dianne Feinstein? Or Senator Feinstein?
      For the other guests  I plan to use first and last name: Debbie Menzer. Is this proper ettiquette?
       -- Debbie Menzer in Corporate Affairs

Dear Ms. Menzer:
        It would be better for all the place cards to be the same style. Senator Feinstein is the most formal form to use on a place card (it's the conversational form).:
                        Senator Feinstein
                        Ms. Messemer
                        Mr. Hickey
        If you are going to include honorifics on some, you should do them all with honorifics.
        The form I show above provides just the information needed for a guest to find his or her place.
        But I see you are in corporate affairs. If it is your company style to include first and last names on place cards, how about giving the official her courtesy title:
                        The Honorable Barbara Feinstein
                        Debbie Messemer
                        Robert Hickey
        It's not technically 'the most formal style" but you get first and last names ... anyone entitled to a courtesy title gets theirs ... and the place cards can be done consistently and I like consistency.
       -- Robert Hickey

Can The Flag Be Draped Over a Civilian's Coffin?     At our school's classes we cover how to fold the American flag, its proper uses, and proper display. When we addressed the issue of how it is draped on a coffin, I had the question: Is it only used for military personnel or can it be used for civilians too?  I had no idea what the rules are and would appreciate your advice.           -- John R.     I am a retired police officer and am leaving instructions for my family once I pass away. (Hopefully not for a long time in the future).  My father was in the Army Air Corps during WWII. When he died his casket was draped with an American flag as a veteran. I have that flag.    Is an appropriate request to have the same flag drape my casket after my death?           -- Kevin P. Dear J.R and K.P.:     Anyone United States citizen can have the U.S. flag on their casket -- as long as the flag is displayed correctly. The rules are from the government, not the military. When the flag is used to cover a casket, it should be placed so the top left of the flag (the blue field with stars) is over the head and over the body's left shoulder. (What's the body's left, and the left of the body for the viewer are different. See the photo below.) The flag should not be lowered into the grave or allowed to touch the ground.    There is much to learn on flags, but check out the rules in advance and then display it proudly.              -- Robert Hickey

What is the Correct Post-Nominal for My Masters?
      I completed an Executive MBA in Pharmaceutical and Healthcare Marketing, and hold a RMC certification as a Registered Medical Coder.  I do not want to come across to formal on my business card, however find that it may be something that can differentiate me from others as I am with a biotech company.
      Should it be abbreviated as EMBA or just MBA?  Second, should I list it as EMBA or MBA, RMC?  Or, do you have a better suggestion all together?
              - Tim M.

         What is the appropriate way to abbreviate the masters degree granted by Air University?  It is titled, Master of Military Operational Art and Science.  At first I thought it would truly be a Masters of Science, but even the accrediting institution refer to it as titled.  Therefore, the most common MS will not do.  Would it be a MMOAS?  
        -- Jason S.


         My Master's Degree in Conflict Analysis and Resolution was recently conferred and also have been certified as a Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediator. What would be the proper way to list both after my name?
        -- Marie M.


Dear Tim, Jason & Marie:
      What to post-nominal to use? The post-nominal abbreviations for degrees vary by the tradition of the granting institution. For example, if certain institution offers both MBA and Executive MBA they might make the distinction between an MBA and an EMBA. Call the Dean's office and ask. Someone there will know what most graduates use ... or will know how to find out.
      When you want to include more information? On your resume you can include every detail. But sometimes people want to be more specific [on a business card or e-mail signature block] when a degree/certification qualifies them to offer a particular professional service. Whether they abbreviate it or spell it out depends on for whom the post nominal is included?  Other professionals might know the abbreviation.  But will the public know the meaning of the string of initials and it would be better to list it fully? 
      What should I include and what should I leave off? What you use on your card or e-mail signature block should be about clarifying to the reader who you are to them / how you may be of service to them. It is not a presentation of your complete resume.
      Who will notice what you do? It will be your peers (those holding the same degree) and the granting institution's faculty and staff who will be your harshest critics if you use something they don't like. I truth, the rest of us don't care so much precisely the letters you use for your earned degrees. We're too focused on our own post-nominals!
                     -- Robert Hickey

May I Abbreviate The Honorable before a Name? 
        Is it proper protocol to abbreviate the Honorable in the address of a letter, for example:
                       Hon. Peter Davis
        -- Janice Sidwell

        Is there a rule about using the with the abbreviated form of Honorable? 
        I remember some rule that tied using the to the form of the Honorable being used with the full word Honorable.
        So, should the the be used with the full word, the abbreviation, or is there no such convention?
        -- TS in DC

Dear J.S. and T.S. in DC:
        When there is room to spell it out, it is always:
                The Honorable Peter Davis
        ... never Honorable (Full Name) and never Hon. (Full Name).
        If space is an issue, and you need to abbreviate (e.g., on a place card at an event where for some reason it has been decided that the style is to include courtesy titles) it could be:
                 The Hon. (Full Name)
        The the is part of the courtesy title ... so it is included. Courtesy titles are abbreviated and all words are included:
                HM for His/Her Majesty
                HRH for His/Her Royal Highness
                HH for His/Her Highness
                HE for His Excellency, etc.
        Note #1: Use of periods .. H.E. or HE .... is a matter of style and varies from one style book to another: just be consistent.)
        Note #2: The Honorable is never abbreviated to just TH in the US, however.  Use The Hon.
        -- Robert Hickey

But My Employer Wants Me to Use My Rank...
       I have recently retired from the Air Force after 20 years of service and the company I am currently employed with would like me to include my retired rank and status in my signature block... something like:
                RICHARD L STANTON, USAF, MSgt, Ret.
       After looking though you blog, I am in full agreement with the statement from your Pentagon source that says if retirees are in a new job, then they should use a signature block that supports that job and should not their former military rank & retired.
       However there are other retirees working in the company who do use their retired status on business cards and email signature block.
        My question is ... Is there any firmer or more direct verbiage addressing the use of retire rank other than the above using the ambiguous "should," I do not really want to rock the boat at my new job, but I also don't want to be pressured into essentially "Pimping" out my retirement status for the corporation.
              -- Rich Stanton

Dear Rich,
       There is only the DoD guideline and at issue is how it's interpreted: ... use of military titles is prohibited if it in any way casts discredit on DoD or gives the appearance of sponsorship, sanction, endorsement, or approval by DoD.
       I observe armed services protocol officers interpreting the use of one's former rank in a post-retirement job as giving the appearance of seeking to gain some advantage over others based on one's pre-retirement rank or another's lack of military service.  If the new employer is solely interested in the vets experience, then the vet has the knowledge no matter how they are addressed. Right?
       A private-sector corporation has no long-term investment in maintaining the respect and prestige of active-duty ranks but perhaps there is a short-term benefit to their bottom line.
       This contrasts with the DoD which has a long-term investment in maintaining the value the respect and prestige of those in uniform.
       To me it's economics: can I leverage my former position to my future personal benefit?
      -- Robert Hickey

What is The Order of Post-Nominals?
      I am doing a presentation on the many post nominals in the medical and nursing fields and what they stand for. There are several and for our nursing convention I am conducting a focus session at our annual nursing convention next week on this subject including the which post nominals to use and correct order to present post nominals. Would you happen to have that information?
    -- Monica, RN, BSN

      I have been an RN for 15 years, and work in the healthcare industry as a home health regional preceptor.  I completed my BS in Health Sciences with a minor in Business Management in 2009, and have just received my Master’s in Healthcare Administration degree. I also hold certifications as an OASIS specialist and Homecare Coding Specialist, both required for my job.
      I have read that the educational degrees should be listed first, followed by licensure credentials since these may not be permanent, followed by any certifications. Following this, I would list my name and post nominals as Tina Atkins, MHA, BS, RN, COS-C, HCS-D.  I have observed many of my colleagues with multiple post nominals still putting their RN designation first, followed by the educational achievements.  In that case, mine would be listed as Tina Atkins, RN, MHA, BS, COS-C, HCS-D.
       Are either of those correct, or should it be listed in another format?
    -- Tina

Dear Monica & Tina,
    When I started my book I thought I would include a list of every post-nominal abbreviation in the world and what each meant. But I soon realized there are so many post nominals in so many fields any list would always be incomplete. Plus, I found that if you put any mysterious post-nominal abbreviation into any search engine ... the answer was instantly there.
    Thus I decided to focus on how they are used ... not what could be used.
    On page 100 of my book I cover how to correctly sequent all types of post nominals (academic degrees, decorations, honorary degrees, professional associations & affiliations, religious orders, theological degrees, etc., etc., etc.).  In your case here's the pertinent sequence that I often see with nurses:
            First Academic Degrees
            Then Professional Licenses -- RN is a professional license.
            Then Professional Certifications
            Then Professional Associations & Affiliations
      If you have more than one in a category place them high to low, and you feel they are equal put them in alphabetical order.
      I see you both use or consider to list RN first then your academic degree. It's not the order typically see, so if you have a source that suggests that order -- I would love to see it. 
      And finally, there is also a frequently cited 'rule' that you should not include more than three post nominals after your name. That's a good guideline.  But, often people ultimately decide on what to include depending on what is directly pertinent to the service they are offering.
               -- Robert Hickey

How to Address the Secretary General in Conversation?
       Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon of the United Nations is coming to the museum in a few days and I wish to know the best way to address him verbally, not on a letter or envelope.
       Should one say:
              Mr. Secretary-General
       or:
              Your Excellency  ?
       I am grateful for your assistance.
              -- Jeanine, Curator at the Museum

Dear Jeanine,
       The form of the name we use in a salutation is the same as form we use for conversation. So either of the two you mention will be perfect.
      -- Robert Hickey

How to Address a Former Governor?
       How would I address a former governor of Tennessee?
              -- Sharon in Hillsboro

Dear Sharon,
       Former governors continue to be The Honorable (Full Name).
       Once an honorable, always an honorable, more or less.
       But in spite of what you hear in the media, only a current governor is formally addressed in conversation or in a salutation as Governor (Name). In a salutation, former governors go back to whatever form of address they used they were before they were the governor.
       Here's the rule: Offices of which many people hold the same office at a time ... senators, judges, Navy captains ... continue to be addressed using the honorific used while they were in office.  But offices which are held by a single person at a time ... the president, the governor, the mayor ... (any office you can put a "the" in front of) most formally go back to whatever they were before.
      I cover this in my book, of course, but here's a link to number of posts on former governors.
      -- Robert Hickey

How to Address a Former Judge /
How a Former Judge Should Refer to Himself?
       I am a Magisterial District Judge who is retiring- having lost an election for purely political reasons. (In other words, no dishonor as referenced in one of the answers). I am returning to full time private practice. Here in PA, MDJs who are lawyers frequently have law practices in addition to their judicial post, which is what I did.
       I understand that many people will still call me “Judge” out or courtesy, respect, and friendliness. My question regards how I refer to myself. I do not intend to use that honorific in attorney correspondence. I am preparing announcements to send to friends, other lawyers, existing clients, and other people advising them that I will be expanding my practice to include certain matters that I could not, by rule, handle while an MDJ.
        Would it be proper, in those announcements, to say, for example, Judge Knight will draw on his 25 years of experience as a prosecutor and District Judge, in the defense of criminal and traffic cases.
        Thank you for your insight.
              -- Kevin Knight

Dear K.K.,
       In your announcements do not refer to yourself as Judge Knight.
       Best approach would be use a form that reflects the current position .. not a former position.
       Kevin Knight will draw on his 25 years of experience as a prosecutor and Magisterial District Judge, in the defense of criminal and traffic cases.
       Certainly socially you could use Judge Kevin Knight on a daughter's wedding invitation if you choose to.  And if in the future you are at an event as a former MDJ ... then you could be addressed as Judge Knight.
       I am influenced by how protocol officers typically handle this in official situations. Protocol officers at the Pentagon who regularly have retired officers working for defense contractors, who as employees of the contractors are in commerce with the Pentagon.
       DoD's perspective on using his rank+name+retired in a subsequent job would be ... to paraphrase the current Chief of Protocol for the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the Pentagon:  If retirees are in a new job, then they should be addressed in a way that supports their new job and not using military rank+name+retired – it is a misrepresentation. They are in a new job – not the military. When retired officers attend Pentagon events as the holder of a post-retirement job -- and are not invited as a retired officer -- they are not addressed by rank+name+retired on invitations or tent cards etc., but as Mr./Ms. (name) and their new company affiliation.
       -- Robert Hickey

Who Has Higher Precedence?  A Current Governor
Or a Former Secretary of a U.S. Federal Department?
       If a former secretary of defense (and spouse) and a sitting governor (and spouse) are to be in a receiving line, what is the order of the receiving line? The event is a formal luncheon hosted by a couple. The former secretary of defense is attending with his wife. The governor is attending with her husband. HELP!
              -- IR

Dear IR,
     A current governor has higher precedence than a former secretary, especially if the governor is in his own state. If the spouses are going to be in the receiving line, a spouse typically stands next to their official spouse, though they have nor formal precedence themselves. 
     So the order would be: the host, the hostess (spouse of the host), governor, the governor's spouse, the former secretary, then the former secretary's spouse.
     I include a precedence list in my book if this sort of thing comes up often!
       -- Robert Hickey

I Disagree: Hereditary Titles In France
Have Not Been Abolished
       As the holder of the French title "Comte", I would disagree with your statement that, under the Fifth Republic, noble titles are no longer recognized officially by the State. Under a law dating from 1852, the Second Republic agreed to officially recognize all titles bestowed by the former Monarchy. This has not been revoked, and, contrary to what most Frenchmen believe, hereditary noble titles have not been abolished.
       You are quite right to say that noblemen are no longer officially addressed by their title but it can still appear on their passport, after the names, as " dit/e" or AKA," Le comte de...". I have a British passport, and though my title does not appear in front of my names, it is clearly stated in the Information Section, above the names; "Holder is Count C--- V--- R----". Just to put the record straight!
              -- CVR

Dear CVR,
    I don't mean to diminish your family's history. 
    My book is used by official organizations when communicating with one another. Thus everything I write about (and teach at The Protocol School of Washington®) is on formal forms of address -- suitable for use with officials in official situations.
    For example: On the French government's precedence list there are no members of nobility listed who have official precedence at official French events due to their noble title. But in Belgium, Spain, The Netherlands, United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates ... members of the nobility have precedence at official events due to their personal rank.
    Thus when an official issues an invitation to an official event, it is addressed to a person in a manner that reflects their role at the event. Thus the US Secretary of State would not officially address a former king as Your Majesty even though others might choose to do so.
    On a passport, governments will put on them whatever you submit. So having count on your British Passport does not mean the government will defend your precedence based solely on your noble title.
    You are referring to social use .... and in the social context I definitely agree with you.  Socially each of us can decide how we are addressed.
       -- Robert Hickey

The Man's or Woman's Name First
When Naming a Building For a Couple?
       I am creating a rustic wooden sign for my daughter & her husband for their lake house.  I was planning on on putting Todd & Bethany's Lake House on the sign, but my friend insists that there is a rule that Bethany should be first.  Is there a rule on this?
              -- DC

Dear DC,
      There is a "rule" that when you write a couple's name ... and they use his family name as their joint family name ... you keep "his" name together as a unit:
            Bethany and Todd Wilson
      Rather than:
            Todd and Bethany Wilson
      Other books suggest that the woman's name is always first ... due a "ladies first" rule.
      I don't think either are critically important rules since using both first names is informal ... and informality is flexible. (Formal would be Mr. and Mrs. Todd Wilson)
      I am always looking at donor lists in programs and you typically see both forms among the names.
      So to me it's a personal option ... but I would use your friend's suggestion.
      I follow the Bethany and Todd Wilson rule, thus the Bethany and Todd's Lake House form is consistent with that ... and I like to be consistent.
      Professional obsession I guess!
       -- Robert Hickey

How to Address an
Envelope the Chief of a Tribe?
        I read your answer to Sonja on the topic of addressing tribal officials:  "Dear Sonja, Tribes use the courtesy title the Honorable when addressing their chiefs" but am still a bit confused. When you say "addressing" I don't think you mean the would be "the Honorable" in a salutation, but that's how I read it.
        What makes this more confusing is that I consulted a person who works often with Tribal officials and she thought the salutation in the letter should be Honorable (Full Name): That just doesn't sound right to me.
        So, I am not certain of either the format for the inside address or for the salutation. Here is what I think is correct? If not, what would you suggest?
        The Honorable (Full Name)
        Chairman, Hopi Tribe
        PO  Box ABC
        City, Arizona  Zip Code
And then, for the salutation:
        Dear Mr. (Surname):
              -- Tim in Phoenix

Dear Tim,
      I love Phoenix. Haven't been there in a while, but hope to get there next year.
      A "courtesy title" (The Honorable is a courtesy title) is used before a full name in full written address. Just using Honorable with the name (without a the) is not correct.
      In a formal salutation and conversation with chairpersons you use an "honorific" (Mr./Mrs./Dr. are honorifics) and the person's last name. It is not impossible they might not call him Chairman (Full Name) sometimes, but Chairman isn't typically used as a honorific in conversation or in a salutation for chairpersons, so I prefer what you did -- choosing Mr..  See also the post "What is the Salutation for the  Chair of a Tribal Council? "
     So, confused or not, you did it exactly right.
       -- Robert Hickey

How to Pubicly Address a High Official
With Whom You Are On a First-name Basis?
        My daughter married in May of this year.  My new son-in-law's aunt is a Federal Judge. My husband and I joined them for Thanksgiving -- a large annual gathering at which we were included.  I would like to write her a thank you note for her gracious hospitality.  How should the envelope be addressed?  My daughter’s mother-in-law said on a previous occasion to address it to Betsy and John Smith but that seems a tad cavalier.   Is The Honorable Betsy Smith and Mr. John Smith  too staid?  Is Mr. & Mrs. John Smith too casual?  Of course we are on first name basis with both she and her husband.
              -- Susan T.

Dear Kim & Toni,
     The decision is to decide how formal you want to be.

    I vote for formal on the mailing envelope .... The Honorable Betsy Smith and Mr. John Smith  ... for the postman's eyes.
    I have never had anyone not appreciate being acknowledgedwith the formal form of address to which they are entitled.

    And informal on the note  ...  Dear Betsy and John, ... for their eyes.

    RE: Betsy -- Check on the court's website to see if they list her as "Betsy" or "Elizabeth" .... nickname or formal name.  Courts nearly always list the judges and give biographies.  If you are going to be formal, then do it with the formal form of her name.
 "Mr."
       -- Robert Hickey